...

okay

assalamualaikum...

selamat hari raya....

i have less than a month to..

nevermind

pheww im nervous.

0kay ive got something to tell and, antahah

you can say im stupid, you can say im a jerk. im both of 'em. honestly, i decided to leave. i know, i know. ive wasted some part of my life. wait i'll calculate

im 17 years and 2 months old. okay ive waited for err.. 5 years? which is 60 months.

17 years and 2 months makes a total of 206 months. so...

60/206 X 100

=29.1%

so.. i've bet 29.1% of my life. to know shes happy out there, really happy, its enough for me. well i should know i can never be someone in the slot of her heart. shes happy and i should be happy too. the reason why is yet unclear for you guys, i know. its okay. i know ive waited for long and i should know what she meant for my wait is me to move on. shes happy out there, and im happy for her. painful? yes but you may never know whats ahead of you.

dont worry. im okay and im happy. and indeed, honestly, i just realise......

(refer to my post 'a story to be told')

if you get what i mean there, you should know what happened to me.

now im neutral.

empty.

hollow.

well im still filled with fats and all. duh~

im just saying, i just realise.

what really happened in the long wait.

shes there and i just couldnt realise.

-buls

p.s. im sorry, im the reason for your downs.

i have 2 boxes and there are 2 kittens in it but only 1 will win the heart, and nil will be left out.

eye loft vu

a story to be told

(;

once upon a time..

came a beggar in front of a palace.

with the beggar was a lady.

a lady of a perfect made.

the beggar wanted to own the palace

but he didnt dare to talk to the king

though the king knew what the beggar really wants was the palace.

the lady with the beggar indirectly told the beggar to stop asking for the palace

the lady said she could offer something similar to the palace, though not near, which is actually far better, to the beggar

but the beggar listened none of what the lady has said..

the beggar continued to wait and wait and wait.

years passed by

the beggar dont seem to give up

the lady with the beggar in the first place kept on coming and offering,

never giving up offering

however the beggar stayed arrogant, not listening to any of the lady's words.

until after the long year

the lady no longer came up as always as before

only then the beggar realised

he wanted to stop asking for the palace

he began to realise that he was forcing himself for the palace

he no longer was willing to stay for the palace

only then he realised what he lost

he began to look for the lady

but the lady has already reserved the offeree to someone else

someone better

not even a beggar.

far better from a beggar.

the beggar's feeling collapsed after he knew about the lady

he then realised

its the palace that's holding himself from realising what was there

he regretted what he's done

and he began to hint the lady

he was trying to ask from the lady what she offered before,

in an indirect way

however he kept on going through heartbreaks

as the lady had no idea what he really meant

plus the offeree has been reserved for someone else

better

far better from a beggar

now the lady stayed,

waiting for the better one to confirmly accept her offer

with the beggar, staying there, trying to regain his place like before

with full of heartbreaks, and patience.

cos only then he realised,

what he really want is what the lady has offered, not the palace owned by the king,

the beggar kept on telling himself

saying that he'll lose to the better one, since he's a beggar and no one would ever want to offer something

the beggar regretted not realising things earlier.

now he can only wait, and wait, and wait.

and suffer lots of heartbreak.

the beggar who woke up

-buls

p.s.

im sorry i pretended all this time. now i cant hold on cos its way too strong.

im sorry.